Welcome to our opinion and advice column! Got a burning question that can only be answered by well-mannered, well-groomed, awesome corgis? You are at the right place! Send us an email at miaplusbailey@gmail.com for our pawspective on your question!
Question: Every
year for Halloween my whole family dresses up in outfits based on some kind of
theme, and then goes out trick-or-treating.
We also go to at least one party while dressed up. As the Very Important
Pup in the family I also have a costume.
Last year we did Pokemon and we all went as weird-looking stuff. I was a
Jigglypuff, which felt as weird as it sounds.
This year we’re all some kind of superheros. Sometimes the costumes aren’t
so bad, but sometimes they are really uncomfortable and I want to chew them
off! Also, just thinking about all the strange children and dogs makes me very
nervous. I wish I could just stay home and sleep. What do you do to get through
all the Halloween festivities: costumes, people, children, parties….?
-
Cooper in Fox,
OK
Bailey: Cooper
, I also feel nervous when going out
and dealing with children and people in larger groups. I just want to sit in my
Child’s lap, or have her carry me around when we went out Trick-or-Treating.
But a lot of the families also take their dogs with them, and the people
handing out human candy also sometimes hand out dog treats. I like the dog treats.
Also, everyone always wants to stop and pet me, because everyone recognizes
that corgis are soft and adorable. So, although a good deal of Halloween (and
really, most holidays) is stressful, think about what things or animals or people
who help make it enjoyable.
Additionally, I think we all just need to take a deep,
calming breath and face the fact of life with regards to human taste in
dresswear: its horrible. Just do a websearch for animals in costume if you
really need proof. So, you need to
decide whether or not you can own whatever it is they are going to make you parade
around in. Let’s say there is a dinosaur costume somewhere that is just the
right size for my companion, Mia. She would totally own that costume, roaring and making demands constantly. We
would never get that costume off of
her. Thank goodness her birthday is nowhere near this holiday. Find a way to
enjoy the attention that the costume brings you. If you like the kids fawning
over you, see if you can get them to bring their friends over to get even more
adoring fans. If you enjoy treats and dog biscuits, look longingly at the
people giving them, or maybe do a trick for them.
There are ways to make it through this holiday season coming
out with your own hoard of Puppy Treats. Best of luck to you.
Mia: Well, I am Princess Mia, so this is one day of the
year when I can let my true self come out! Unfortunately, my humans do not seem
to share my wish to be royally attired (not even giving me a tiara!) and they like to find other ways
of dressing me up. Although, I am totes ok with a dinosaur costume. It is only
one of many, many paths to internet fame and stardom, and later, world
domination. Yeeessss.
However, if you are not into that stuff and don’t want to be
social, I totally get that, even if it’s not my thing. Bailey told me about a corgi
friend, let’s call him “Buddy.” Buddy was at a party, minding his own biz, but
getting lots of attention from the small fries.
One in particular kept following him around (Bailey’s words, not mine. I said it sound like stalking. Bailey said
little children “don’t stalk”). Anyway, so Buddy was being nice to the kiddies,
letting them pet him and hold on to his fur as they walked around. At some
point Buddy decided to lay down and take a break. He closed his eyes for a nap.
(Note: anyone who has watched ANY horror
movie knows that you DO NOT TURN YOUR BACK ON THEM. OR SLEEP.) So the stalker child snuck up on Buddy and BIT
HIM ON THE LEG. Buddy gave the kid a death stare, but apparently it did not
sink through. So Buddy had to go find somewhere else to nap (but after that kind of encounter, and
knowing that other kids are around, where would you really feel safe sleeping?
I wouldn’t, not until I had left the party.) So, yeah, that was a long
story to say that I get why going to a party where there will be small,
sugared-up little humans running around, does sound like something that could
use an excuse to miss.
So, plan of attack: eat the costume. Humans don’t use
their senses (other than sight) very often – making it easy to find stuff that
they hide. Timing is key in the eating of the costume. Not too early, or they
will have time to replace it. Depending on your flexibility, you may be able to
wait until you actually have it on (I,
myself have performed this feat through several iterations of harnesses). If not, maybe plan for your
attack to be a multiple-day event.
Locate the costume a good few days in advance, allowing optimal time for
sneaking in and out without getting caught.
Identify a proper hideout for item destruction, and if need-be a second
location for leaving the chewed-up items for your humans to find. If they are still discussing taking you with
them, bring out the big guns - “play sick.” Eat something gross and
leave some lovely leftovers in a conspicuous place for them to find, preferably
so close to let’s-get-out-the-door-time, that they won’t want you with them. For bonus points, maybe find something nice and
yummy to roll in too.
Cooper, I hope that you have enough ideas to start planning
your own attack strategy now. Good hunting!
(Please note that we are corgis, not medical professionals. We do not give any kind of medical advice.)
